Its just like a fairytale, so romantic, but it really happened to 2 of my ex colleagues. It begins:

Her mum and her sister should have already touched down in perth. I hope they'll have a good time there. Sent them off just now at the airport, cos i had to pass them some items that she'll need. The last time i was at the airport was when i touched down at 2am. Feeling really terrible. Alone. And not really wanting to be back here.

Somehow, i avoided going to the airport. And being there again, it just reminded me of how hard my last day in perth was. It didnt really sink in until we were about to part. When she sent me off, as i boarded the shuttle, it just hits you like a brick wall. You just crumble.

Everything that you've built in that month + 1 week. That familiar face you're so comfortable with. The first thing you see when you open your eyes in the morning and the last when you fall asleep.

It was raining really hard that night but she slept so peacefully on the busride to the airport. She was drooling on my shoulder, and i was truly happy. I was hoping that bus ride would never end; hoping that it'd go on forever. My heart broke on every turn, every stop, as i cupped her face taking care not to wake her up. Shielding her eyes from the glare of the lights.

A whole many thoughts running through my head as i sat there.

Walking her to work in a downpour.

Holding her so close to me i can feel her body shaking from the cold, cos she forgot to bring her jacket.

Waiting patiently outside Subway for her to end work.

Accompanying her on a bicycle, as she went door to door, trying to get people to sign up for better phone deals. Both of us getting frustrated at times.

Missing the bus, and sharing a bike ride home. We were 5 or 6 hills away from home. So we'd push the bike all the way up each hill, then both of us would hop on that 1 bike and ride down. It had been a hard day, we were really exhausted but somehow when we got back, we were all smiles.

Us making breakfast lunch and dinner together. Waking up early to prepare pancakes for one another. Im so useless at cooking, i can only cook scrambled eggs but she's ok with that. She keeps on telling me she loves my eggs so i make sure i make them just right. She's a wonderful cook by the way, the thing she whips up is simply incredible. I never get bored of her cooking cos she always cooks them with love, no matter how tired she was. You can actually taste that special ingredient; love. I gained a good 5 kgs while i was there.

Following her around, as she shopped while we had quirky discussions, us trying to justify every buy. I love it when she tries to make me see her point of view. That cheeky look/smile she gives, when she knows that she will have her way no matter what you say because she knows you love her.

I took as many videos of her as i could. Even when we were doing practically nothing. I just wanted to capture her traits and have it with me. All the little intricate bits that i fell in love with.

Having to wake her up once we got to the airport. The shuttle wasnt arriving for a good 45 mins. I was praying that night, hoping that by some miracle my flight would get cancelled. I held her hand every chance i got, held it so tightly she must've felt it. She could only send me to the domestic airport cos we didnt have enough money for her to take the shuttle to international. I kept on going back to hug her. It was then that we broke down. It was hard seeing her standing there as the shuttle moved off.

Everything just felt so heavy as i walked to the check-in counter. My luggage was in excess of 3 kgs and i was hoping that she'd charge me for that, then i'd tell her i couldn't pay. I was desperate for an excuse to stay, but she just waived me through saying it was ok. I ran then, looking for a payphone. I just had to talk to her before i left. Approached this old couple for change cos i only had a 2-dollar coin left. They must've pitied me, cos they only had a dollar, but they wanted me to have it. Thanked them profusely, before running towards the payphone, hands shaking as i only had 20 mins to call her, wanting so much to hear her voice that i couldn't dial the numbers properly. I got connected only after a few tries.

I hated myself for letting her go home alone. Knowing that she was crying the whole journey back. And there was nothing that i could do. I really felt useless. The only thing i could do was send her an sms with the last 25 cents i had in my pocket, telling her to be strong and that everything will work out. It always does..

There were so many instances where i was hoping they'd stop me from boarding the plane; bringing onboard too much liquids, the metal detector going off several times, my junkie-looking puffy eyes. but no, they were even more polite when i left. As the plane took off, I scanned the skyline looking at the suburb where i stayed, trying so hard to find her in all that mess of street lights. Flashbacks prevented me from falling asleep, so i kept on playing the videos i had on my camera and i ate the dinner she prepared for me. Toasted pita bread with turkey ham, hummus, melted swiss cheese, eggplant pickle, butter, mayo and a side of onions-sauteed mushrooms-garlic-tomatoes-balsamic vinegar salad.

I still get flashbacks of her, at the most unexpected of times, even of the first time i caught a whiff of her scent. I swore it was as if she literally walked past me. I couldnt do anything for a while, cos i'd let the memories just take over.

I've never really shared this with anyone. It's hard to have to face this set of feelings again, must've been the reason why my sub-conscious chose to keep it away.

She's prolly sleeping right now as i write this. I hope she's having the sweetest of dreams, and i hope she's thinking of me, like how i'm thinking of her.

I love you Miss Clarissa Ginger Goh.

Wishful thinking.